Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Ever been to a book club?

The first rule about book club is: you do not talk about book club.


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Satin Bowerbirds

Why Satinbowerblog?

Tsk and sigh.

The Satin Bowerbird is an Australian bird which gathers trinkets for passers by to look at.

For some reason these birds are obsessed with blue objects - this has become an easier obsession to feed since the appearance of western people with plastic rubbish.

I thought the analogy for blogging was complete.

And obvious.

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Circulating on the net, funny I thought:

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary ...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - Oooh, Bath. Bummer.
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary ...

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...

Saturday, December 20, 2008


Ever since a somewhat spectacular head injury I have been troubled with regular migraine headaches. As every sufferer will tell you - they're something of a pest.

A kindly neurologist has given me access to gratis Zolmitripan - an expensive drug of rapid and complete effectiveness. One is somewhat wary of it's side effects - which unfortunately include the absence of the drug becoming a trigger for headaches.

But lo! After some internettery I found that some people use the most delightful and unexpected preventative measure. After protracted trials I can now publish the fact that - for me - dark chocolate stops nascent migraines. Woo and hoo!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Urban Dictionary

A friend was told at work (in the 'states) that something was "S.O.L."

The context implied that being "S.O.L." was to be of great misfortune, to the extent that one might feel somewhat aggrieved.

Turning to the net - I stumbled across the Urban Dictionary.

Turns out I guessed correctly

The site is amusing provided you're able to tolerate a high level of obscenity and profanity.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Join my LinkedIn Network

I've never met a trainspotter - but I imagine that trainspotting is about standing forlorn on windswept railway platforms writing down lists of trains you have seen.

It seems to me that LinkedIn is about sitting forlorn on Herman Miller Aerons writing down lists of people that you have worked with.

Toot toot!

Saturday, December 6, 2008


A book of disconcerting proportions - a fat paperback as thick as those abominable airport-bookshop ones with their lurid titles in gold relief lettering. Polished turds most of them.

Shogun however is pretty fab. In spite of its bulk here are very few dull pages in it ...

It is loosely based on the exploits of William Adams - thought to be the first Briton to reach, then feudal, Japan.

Some time ago Giles Milton wrote one of his very palatable popular histories on Adams:

Read the novel first I would suggest, it is a shame to let facts get in the road of a good story.

Attempting to make a virtue of a necessity.

Most bloggers blurt out a torrent of self indulgent inanity - eventually realising that no-one reads it and no-one cares. This includes me, of course.

Recently a commentator, Todd Sieling, has identified slow-blogging - in which people carefully craft large higher quality essays at their own pace, posting quite infrequently (eventually realising that no-one reads it and no-one cares).

In place of slow-blogging I give you: working-very-hard-on-a-new-job-of-eyewatering-complexity-and-stress-levels-and